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Monday, October 17, 2005

A Note from Today

I am incomplete as a person. I make mistakes because I am unfinished. At the age of 20, I have made so many mistakes that I can not be too sorry to people who I hurt.

Every time I make such a mistake, I feel bad and think that I will never let it happen again. I have to learn from mistakes that I have made.

Yet most of the time I make the same kind of mistakes again, because I am incomplete and stupid.

When it happens, I despise myself. I begin to hate myself. If I don't grow up, why do I live?

Then I think strongly that I will never do that again.

Perhaps I might make the same mistake again, but there, I believe, is always a progress. And when I find myself in a progress, I can love myself again.








I am saying this because I hurt a girl that I met over the summer.

We had a good time together. The thing is that I knew that I did not love her.

And every morning that I found her sleeping next to me, I was like "why are you here? Get your clothes and go to your bed!!" Of course I did not say that to her, but I was so sorry to her that the idea came to my mind. But I can not lie to myself and love her!!

Then, why did I do that thing? I don't know! That's the mystery of guys... We have endless desire for women...

And you know what? This thing ALWAYS happens.


OTL

(↑This is Japanese sort of smile-mark. It is a person who failed something. "O" is his head, "T" is his body and hand, and "L" is his legs.)

2 Comments:

  • Do you feel like you've learned anything from the mistakes you've made?

    By Blogger Lorianne, at 9:41 PM  

  • enjoy the pain.....you learn from it

    By Blogger Sarah, at 3:59 AM  

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