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Sunday, October 30, 2005

How much is this?

After the Hurricane, there is a rapid rise of oil price, and drivers are paying more. Looks like everyone got in trouble because of that.

However... there are some who got profits from the rise of oil price... Guess who...






According to USA today, the amounts of profits the oil companies got in this three-month period are..

Exxon Mobil 9.9 billion
Royal Dutch Shell 9 billion
BP 6.5 billion
Chevron Texaco 3.5 billion

The total sum of these figures is $27.9 billion!! ($27,900,000,000!!)

I dunno what this means dude...

Something is wrong... Look at the people who are suffering now in New Orleans, Latin America, Africa, and middle east!

This is the webpage that I read.

China, Korea and Japan

ok, then, now I write what I want to write...

I was thinking about relationship among China, Korea, and Japan. These three countries have had a historically close relationship, and now each of them has nationalism and sometimes hatred against the other.

Namely, Chinese had huge and many demonsstrations against Japan, as well as Korean. Mostly, they claim against Japanese occupation over Korean and Chinese land during its colonial time, problems of comfort women, Nanjing, and the war shrine, which the present prime minister of Japan has been keeping to go as a custom. All in all, these resentments are accumulated, and now Japan is being blamed for not to apology to those countries we suffered during the World War II.

As a Japanese and international relations major, I am interested in this problem.

Our --Chinese, Korean, and Japanese-- good relationship is inevitable for the growth of the east Asian region.

I was researching on why these hatreds emerge after 60 years and where they come from.

This is one of the interpretations of the situation; politicians use these nationalism to lead the mass population to the desired destination.

Chinese and Korean governments, which are not doing well, don't want their populations to critic their government.

On the other hand, Japanese prime minister keeps going to the war shrine, which worships people who actually led the war, because he wants to get votes from his support basis, which are the families of the war dead.

So the purpose of us fighting is all about political benefits.

I don't know if this is true or not, but if we fighting for our politicians and for their positions, we are idiots, aren't we?

I want to be as neutral as I can, and if there is any fault of mine, please point it out. I will think about it.

Love and Peace

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Can't Sleep!!!

I always go to bed late around 3:00 am in the morinig, but because I did not feel like writing a paper due tomorrow tonight and decided to do it tomorrow morning, I went to bed ealier at 12:00...


I was in bed and thinking about silly things.

First, I though about a girl who I used to like when I was a junior high school kid. I thought about swimming school that she used to go. I did not like swimming, but I asked my mom to allow me to go there. She said no because the tuition was expensive and suggested me to go another swiming school. She did not understand my point. I just wanted to see the girl there and have a couple of sophisticated and intelligent conversation with her after the swimming lessons.

OK. It's not true. to be honest, I wanted to see her in swimming costume. (Yes I was (or am...) a pervert.) I envied the girl's swimming coach so badly. I imagined that the coach, who I never knew, touched her legs to teach how to make good movement or whatever and pulled hands to teach how to make strokes.

I remembered these memories and laughed at myself a little bit.

Then I wondered where she is now. Maybe she is in school attending a class at this exact time.

Then, my interest came to the paper that I have to write, but I did not think about it now.

And finally I came to thing about this blog.

I kind of liked writing this blog when mine was elected for the blog of the week. Honestly, I spend sort of long time to post it, and maybe the prize meant that my thoughts or idea were understood and approved by many people.

But as I continued taking the prizes, even though I am so glad to take it, I became not too happy about writing here. Every time I post, I have to think something funny, interesting or academic.

And this idea came to my mind. AM I ENJOYING THIS THING???

I am a pierrot, who can't do what I want to, and do whatever people want me to do. I often understand what people want me to do. And for this time, too, I got to know what to write to make people fun.

But I am NOT writing for myself even though this is MY page My online journal.

For me, writing something must always be for myself. I write for myself because I don't speak so well in both Japanese and English, and writing has been only the way that I can express myself. I must write everything for myself, otherwise I will die with lack of expressing myself.

So here I declare. I do my best to write what I want to write even for this blog.

OK. It is 3:47 and I have to write for the paper that we have due tomorrow. I have to sleep, otherwises I will die with lack of sleep.


Monday, October 17, 2005

A Note from Today

I am incomplete as a person. I make mistakes because I am unfinished. At the age of 20, I have made so many mistakes that I can not be too sorry to people who I hurt.

Every time I make such a mistake, I feel bad and think that I will never let it happen again. I have to learn from mistakes that I have made.

Yet most of the time I make the same kind of mistakes again, because I am incomplete and stupid.

When it happens, I despise myself. I begin to hate myself. If I don't grow up, why do I live?

Then I think strongly that I will never do that again.

Perhaps I might make the same mistake again, but there, I believe, is always a progress. And when I find myself in a progress, I can love myself again.

I am saying this because I hurt a girl that I met over the summer.

We had a good time together. The thing is that I knew that I did not love her.

And every morning that I found her sleeping next to me, I was like "why are you here? Get your clothes and go to your bed!!" Of course I did not say that to her, but I was so sorry to her that the idea came to my mind. But I can not lie to myself and love her!!

Then, why did I do that thing? I don't know! That's the mystery of guys... We have endless desire for women...

And you know what? This thing ALWAYS happens.


(↑This is Japanese sort of smile-mark. It is a person who failed something. "O" is his head, "T" is his body and hand, and "L" is his legs.)

Thursday, October 13, 2005

I Fell in Love.

I fell in love with a girl. It is shocking; I never thought this could happen. When I saw her at the restaurant, it was love at first sight. She is not aware of me, but I know pretty much everything about her.

I like her black eyes. I know how they shine and how they talk in silence.

I like her hair. I know how soft it is and how sweet it smells.

I like her fingers. They are thin and delicate. She puts one of her fingers on her temple when she thinks. That gives me the impression that she is smart.

I like her shape. She is thin and has beautiful brown skin.

She is thirteen years old.

She can sense people's feelings. It is hard for her to deal with this gift, since sometimes sadness, jealousy and anger are heavy burden. She is too genuine and pure to live in this cruel world.

She hates to be alone, but she does not know how to make friends.

Her name is Yuki, which means snow in Japanese.

Like snow, she disappeared yesterday. I know she will not show up again. I am sad.

To tell you the truth, she is a character of a book. She only exists in it, and she will never be real.

But I did fall in love with her, and I still love her.

When I read the book, I could look into her eyes, smell her hair and touch her fingers. When she spoke her story with crying, I wanted to hug her and say there is no worry. I would have taken care of her and got rid of all of the evils around her.

I am so sad because she dies in the end. I am a broken heart. Why does love always have to be like this?

Maybe I am a fool.

Monday, October 03, 2005

My Mom and Flowers

I gave some flowers to one of my friends, who had her birthday. I gave her lilies. She was so happy, and she hugged and kissed me so many times. Since I am Japanese, and since we don't have this culture of kissing and hugging each other between friends, I got embarrassed a little bit and escaped from her intense gratitude.

In terms of flowers, girls are not too smart.

To tell you the truth, those flowers were not expensive, and I bought them from Shaws, which is next to our college. I don't know why girls love flowers too much. Please give me the answer which you reason by psychological, historical, or whatever evidence. I just concluded that girls are not too smart when it comes to receiving flowers. estimate that girls become excited and simultaneously fool when someone gives flowers to them...

I use this tip for my mom, too.

I don't want to trouble thinking what to give to her every birthday and mothers' day. So I always buy some flowers to her. I don't even write a card. Just give flowers, and it is done. And she is happy. In this situation her satisfaction is what I want, right? hahaha.

Hmmm. I miss my mom a bit now because I though about her. I have not met her for almost a year because I am an international student in the U.S. and my mom is in Japan. I miss my father and younger brother too, but I miss my mom most.

When I went back to Japan last time, I didn't talk to my mom so much because I always went out with my friends. Now I want to talk to her rather than to my friends.
She cooked my favorite food for me 5 times within a month of my stay home. However, I was so bad and ate only 2 times or so because I ate out with my friends all the time. If she should die now, I must think badly that I should have eaten the food she cooked.

I swear now that next time I go back home, I won't miss eating the favorite food every time she cooks. And I talk to her as much as I can.

Yes I am such a momma's boy! Mommy!!! Hahaha.